BY LIZ SERNA

I’m not going to lie… I have a love/hate relationship with a lot of romantic comedies. Especially THIS movie. First, I never remember exactly which old-people-rom-com this is, and often confuse it with It’s Complicated with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. It isn’t. Secondly, it’s full of standard tropes for rom-coms, for women, and for women not being able to make up their minds.

Now, that last one is really the part that gets me. Not so much that Erica (Diane Keaton) has a conflict between two men. I can absolutely see how you would be drawn to someone who is completely enamored by you as a person and professionally, as well, carrying a torch for someone who gave you your first big O in decades (or as in most of these movies, ever… because that’s realistic!). No, my biggest issue (spoiler) is with her choosing the guy who is terrible for her over Mr. Perfect Keanu, who really is the ideal man for her. Yes, it happens. A lot. But I would like to think that by the time you reach Erica Berry’s age, you have gained some wisdom about what is really important in life and love. Let’s examine the evidence.

Harry (played by Jack Nicholson) is, by his own admission, a womanizer with no intentions of settling down, finding love, or a meaningful relationship. At the beginning of the story, he is actually dating Erica’s daughter, and yet within a couple of days, he is in Erica’s bed (after having a heart attack trying to bed said daughter and manipulating his way into being looked after by a complete stranger within her home). Then the next day, he is already on to someone else. He comes back around after her heartache to gripe at her about her play, but somehow, six months later, he is back and somehow completely changed. Ish.

Hot Keanu (Reeves, of course) is Harry’s doctor and is completely enamored with Erica from the moment he meets her, plus was already a big fan of her professionally, showing that he has interests like hers. He asks her out on a proper date, wines and dines her, and even thinks enough to bring sick-Harry some dinner. Even though she bangs another guy and stands him up and basically never calls him again, he still wants to be with her, and is gracious and forgiving. When you see the two of them in Paris, they actually LOOK happy, where she never really does with Harry. She is always crying with him, which may be great for writing, but it’s hell on your heart. Come to think of it… she doesn’t really deserve Doctor Julian!

The point is that romantic comedies are forever telling us that even though “The Guy” is kind of a jerk, he is somehow more of a prize than “Obviously Mr. Deserving Guy,” and I believe that as a society, this is messing us up. We somehow see love as some kind of challenge that has to be overcome, rather than a joyful, easy experience. When we don’t have that constant conflict, we feel like it’s too easy, or clearly, he or she isn’t “the one.” What does this say to the Good Guys/Gals out there?

I mentioned this is a love/hate relationship, and I do also love this movie. Because I am supposed to love it. It was written for me to love it. And that feels a little manipulative. So, I will continue to watch, and my heart will continue to break for Mr. Nice Guy, and I hope that he finds someone lovely at the farmer’s market who is less damaged.

Liz is the co-host of Nerdy Bitches Podcast. You should visit her website at nerdybitches.com and follow her on social media at @nerdybitchespod (Twitter), @nerdybitches (Instagram) and @nerdyb1tchespodcast (Facebook). 

(Bio from Nerdy Bitches website)
Liz is a photographer, writer, retired corporate trainer, and general snarky bitch. She also owns and writes Self Saving Princess, a blog about her journey to take back her life when it took a very long series of wrong turns. She is hoping to continue that journey by taking other women along for the ride and bringing humor and light into a sometimes very dark world. She resides near Houston, Texas with her husband OperaMan and their three furry companions, Lucy, Daphne, and Jake. Current favorite fandoms: Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Shark Week, and everything Ernest Cline!